Dear Academy Family, This past weekend I spent some time reading Franciscan spiritual writer Richard Rohr’s book Falling Upward (2011). Broadly speaking, the book is about “the spirituality of the second half of life,” which for me recently became an age-appropriate topic. In setting the stage for this primary focus, Rohr makes a comment about the first half of life that caught my attention. Remarking on the important role played by boundaries and “limit situations” (i.e. instances of coming up against one’s inadequacies and finitude) in a child’s movement toward responsible adulthood, he writes: If you want a job done well, on time, with accountability and no excuses, you had best hire someone who has faced a few limit situations. He or she alone has the discipline, the punctuality, the positive self-image, and the persistence to do a good job. If you want the opposite, hire someone who has been coddled, been given “I Am Special” buttons for doing nothing special, and had all his or her bills paid by others, and whose basic egocentricity has never been challenged or undercut. To be honest, this seems to describe much of the workforce and the student body of America. Many of the papers I receive in summer graduate courses at major universities are embarrassing to read in terms of both style and content, yet these same “adults” are shocked if they do not get an A. This does not bode well for the future of our country. Whatever genres typify your own professional or pleasure reading, you have no doubt come across similar warnings against excusing the young from reasonable responsibility as they grow. Indeed, Scripture itself is replete with them. Somehow, though, I was still surprised by a jeremiad against coddling from a Franciscan writing for over-the-hill adults! It did, however, prompt me to wonder— What principles will guide your involvement in your scholar’s academic life this year? If this question has not been on your radar during the heady (and hectic) early days of the school year, maybe I can offer a starting point for reflection. Over my years of observing the triumphs and travails of school-aged children, I have found that those who go on to engage college, careers, and adult relationships successfully almost always had something in common—parents who were working themselves out of a job. What do I mean by this? Families can be vastly different from one another and still subscribe to the notion that they are raising an adult, not a child. For them, this end goal is always in mind as they discern where to assist, when to teach, and when they should step aside to allow the severe mercy of a painful failure. The best time to fail is when the stakes are low and the best place to fail is under the protection of wise and loving parents. So think about it—where are you “working yourself out of a job,” and where are you implying by your actions that you plan for your son or daughter to be dependent upon you long-term? It is a question worth asking as we begin a new year full of possibilities for growth and maturation. Let us continue to pray for one another. Our Lady of The Atonement—Pray For Us! Your servant, Matthew David Watson Head of School